Week 5: Swing Sets and Such

I have always loved swing sets. Even in college, as soon as the Utah winters start to clear you can find me at Kiwanis Park kissing the sky with the heels of my feet, going back and forth until I'm nauseous. When it comes to swinging it takes a bit to gain some momentum. When I was younger, I'd beg my older brother to give me the biggest push he could muster. Now, I can get myself going (still a little challenging with my 5'2 height) and after a few minutes of leaning back and exerting some abdominal strength I feel free. One of the best parts of swinging is closing your eyes and opening them and looking into the big blue sky and thinking for a split second that you might actually be flying. This week was a whole lot like swinging. There were times I felt like I had just got a big push from an external force that took me higher than I ever could have on my own. There were times I felt like I was exerting all my own strength and not getting the momentum for each day as quickly and easily as I would like. And some days, at the very peak of it all, before the nauseousness (or in this case, the exhaustion) hit I would open my eyes to a clear blue sky and smile at the top of the world, soaring with the birds. 

My external force of assistance came in its typical way. I had God's aid in giving me the strength to get out of bed when I really really really didn't want to. I had His assistance in making some on the spot decisions and expressing love to my students in ways that only He knows could help. But I also had an external force come in and give me a big push that I wasn't expecting. On Friday, I attended UCTE and basked in the joy of being surrounded by so many of my English Teaching peers at BYU and professors that I ADORE. I also felt fueled by the passion expressed by every speaker. They made me want to read, rediscover my passions, take advantage of new technology, and gave me fresh new ideas that I didn't even know I was longing for. I had the chance to present at the conference during a panel discussion. As I presented and discussed my topic with a bunch of teachers that have been at this much longer than myself, I couldn't help but feel peace. I went home and knew that I had chosen the right career, the right major, the right path. 1 year ago me prayed for that moment and thought it would never come. Yet, here it is. The glee of screaming in the air, saying higher, higher, higher.

I recognize that not every day is that easy. I woke up at 7:01am on Thursday morning and I needed to be to school by 7:15am. By the grace of God I arrived at 7:18am. I walked into school with a dress sticking to my legs from static, barely combed hair, and mascara free eyes for the first time in my teaching career. I had a headache for the majority of the day from the morning rush. It was a rough start. I was just pumping my little legs trying to gain the momentum to swing higher. But the swing set seemed too high. And it wasn't until an extra stretch I got one big toe to touch the mulch and I found just enough power to get going. I experienced a similar feeling with my A1 class. I can't seem to get them to talk. They won't participate in the group discussions and I have to pry to get every conversation going. This wouldn't be such a big deal if this wasn't a whole unit focused on Speaking and Listening. So there I was leaning back and digging forward, hoping to catch some momentum. But the conversations only barely picked up when the bell rang and I ended the period without the satisfaction of kicking my feet high in the sky. 

I got back on the swing for A2. And this time the momentum came. and came. and came. I had my level 1 ELLs talking in group discussions, sharing about the weather changes they noticed in the graphic novel edition of The Great Gatsby they were reading. I had students getting excited to talk about Gatsby and analyzing the green light. I had a few students that decided to answer 5 questions on their worksheets instead of the minimum 3 because they loved where their conversations were going. I heard one student say on his way out that he would start coming to class more often if every day was like today. For a split second I wasn't a student teacher anymore. I hadn't only been there for a few weeks. I wasn't lost. I was flying. And the sun had never felt so warm and the sky had never been so blue. And a classroom had never felt so much like home. 

If only the Utah cold would calm down so that I could enjoy a real swing set. But for now, teaching 11th graders will have to do. 

-Brianna Gee