Week 7: Very Tired, Slightly Overwhelmed

There's this week in February they should warn teachers about. Especially first-year teachers. It's right before the 3-day weekend, throw in Valentine's Day right smack in the middle and then add in a Career Fair and, in this particular case, a birthday, and you've found it. It's filled with students with the craziest sugar highs and the attention span of a squirrel and teachers that want to have a romantic evening with their significant other but fall asleep 10 minutes into the rom-com. It's also filled with superintendents, recruiters, representatives--all the above--going after you way more than any guy ever did. And then you feel like a tramp because you are interviewing multiple districts, giving them all the same smile, and not promising any commitment but giving them your number just in case. It was a wild week but it made me realize how close to graduating and this all become real is. I am halfway through with my student-teaching and jobs, with a degree attached, are on the horizon. I am excited. So excited. But also overwhelmed. Comparing salaries and benefit plans and districts and distance. It is a lot. On top of tax returns and rent and planning lessons and recognizing the needs of IEPs and ELLs and finishing up a class novel. Oh, also it was my birthday on Friday. Things accumulate and time is not your friend and you feel like you're running and running. It is exciting. So exciting. But I think I am running a bit off adrenaline right now. 

When I get home in the evenings I crash. I was talking to my sister on the phone the other day and fell asleep mid-conversation. I am very tired and have the earliest bedtime I have had since elementary school, with no change in exhaustion. The mornings come too early and the school days fly by too fast. Before you know it you've been there for 9 hours and still aren't ready for the next day. I am trying to add exercise to my schedule, but that has been a flop so far. I went to the gym once last week and am still sore. I can't seem to find the energy after a long school day to move my body. But I still have hope that I will hit the sweet spot routine one day and be able to balance all the things I hope to have in my schedule. 

This blog post has just been a brain dump. It doesn't have much order and probably wouldn't receive the best score on any turned-in essay. But, hey, that's teaching sometimes. In our attempt of order, things turn into chaos. Or perhaps 9 hours of our day are structured, for the remaining 5 hours of our evenings to be directionless. We are messes with perfect lashes and perfect hair.