Week 10: Deathbed Repentance and the End of a Term

 "So what do I need to do to pass?"

Uggh I have come to hate those words. This past week it seemed that my role as a teacher was somehow replaced with that of a gpa advisor, whose single purpose was to figure up the easiest and quickest way a student could get an A when they had failed to complete a single assignment for the past 8 weeks. Heck, I had never met some of those begging at my desk until two days before the term deadline. Their stories got me, and all I wanted was for them to pass. I told them what they could do: the assignments that were worth the most points, alternative assessments, extra credit assignments, etc---and a lot of them did pull through with the passing grade at the end. A lot of them got the grade they were hoping for. But now that the grades are submitted and Term 3 has ended, I feel like I am the one left unsatisfied. 

You see, I wanted to pass them all. I don't want their grade in MY class to keep them from that scholarship, or even graduating in general. And I knew that all I was asking from them wasn't impossible. They had no penalty for late work, for showing up for the game during the 4th quarter. They had multiple attempts on most assignments, were able to retake quizzes and assignments and I always accepted the highest grade. Mercy was in the form of built-in accommodations; justice was consistent grading, and expecting the same quality of work whether turned in on the day of the due date or 20 days after. Yet, so many didn't do the work. Even after giving them a list of the minimum assignments they needed to complete in order to pass, so many gave up hope and stopped trying.

But for those that did pull through, I am still unsatisfied. What is the point of completing a chapter reading quiz to demonstrate comprehension of the novel when you already completed a summative assessment to demonstrate your comprehension of the novel? What is the point of an assignment about preparing arguments concerning the American Dream for a Socratic Seminar, when you have already completed the Socratic Seminar? At that point, we're all missing the mark and it is no longer about education or learning or growth. At that point, the purpose behind the assignments is lost.

Some students wanted to see what they could do to bring their D- to an A overnight. I sighed because I love them. I want nothing more for that miraculous event to occur. But it was truly impossible. They cannot overnight demonstrate an understanding of all standards and complete the necessary assessments in one day, They cannot read a whole novel in a day, comprehend it, analyze it, and then present their understanding of it in 24 hours. Each day of the term built upon the other, and growth was gradual and paced with learning needs in mind. Attempting to get an A overnight makes the whole educational experience grueling, and sucks every piece of joy and long-lasting impact out of it. 

Maybe that's why God won't accept our deathbed repentance. Maybe it has something to do with gradual learning and justice. Maybe it is truly impossible to learn all that we need and become all that we need to be overnight, and even the attempt would be agonizing and joyless. Next term, I am rethinking deadlines. Next term I would like the assessment to be their deadline, not an arbitrary printed report card. And this day I am rethinking the purpose of repentance. How each day can be so much more joyful if I do not procrastinate what my Father in Heaven asks me to do. 

What do I love most about teaching? Every day it gives me a little bit more of a heavenly perspective. Every day I receive a spiritual education. 

-Ms. Gee